I just don’t know when or if I’m ever going to get my shit together.
Why? Whats happened? Yesterday you were full of the joys and going to make a real effort and up your dating game…
Did I actually say that? Or was that the wine talking?
Hmm good point but lets be honest it is quite hard to differentiate between the 2 a lot of the time!
Damn cheek not that you’re wrong on this occasion but…
So then what happened? I thought you were meeting the man of your dreams aka him with the nice arms at 7pm and its now 7.30pm, don’t tell me you’re running late again?!
Nope~I left the house on time,well early actually so I could get some fuel on the way, got in the car and realised I’d forgotten my purse. Went back indoors came out and tripped over the dodgy paving slab outside the house ffs.
Yes the one that’s been in the same place for the last year’s ~you can stop laughing.
Apart from feeling utterly stupid, I’m fine (thanks for asking not!).
So I went to the garage and got totally flustered, couldn’t park the right way for my petrol cap and just couldn’t deal with trying to hoist the pump up and over the car in this heat, therefore ended up driving around looking bloody hopeless, managed to spill petrol on my new shoes and decided that was enough for one day.
I am now home putting serious effort into having a relationship with as much chocolate as I can manage without making myself sick!
As I opened the door to my Mum this morning saying ‘come in, its chaos here at the moment,its always bloody chaos in this house’.
I looked around at the garden (which is a constant work in progress!) at the paddling pool I had struggled to put up and get sorted, bits and bobs around the kitchen that I was in the middle of tidying away and thought~do you know what, this house may not be spotless, its noisy its loud but it’s our home, and its a home that is full of love and warmth.
A home with its doors always open to everyone and I love that.
I don’t know what the kids memories will be of their childhood when they are older but I hope they look back and remember that admist the chaos and crazyiness, the memories we have made and continue to make along the way are priceless.
For several years I carried the ‘single parenting’ guilt on my shoulders but I’ve long sinced parked that~this parenting gig isn’t plain sailing no matter what your situation is and I truly believe if we were all honest, we would all admit to just winging it at times.
So here’s to the chaos and the crazy days,sleepless nights and memories made. Paddling pools and starting school. Day trips here and outings there. Running around without a care. Through out these times I can depend on being driven well and truly round the bend! But let me just say, so you know ,I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Answer the phone, oh come on pick, pick up,pick oh thank goodness you’re awake.
Well I am now, what’s the emergency?
Oh my goodness, you won’t believe what I did last night.
You didn’t text Dave did you? I told you not to,that was the last thing I said to you.
Technically it wasn’t, the last thing you said to me was put the wine down and get some water but no I did not text him!
Ok so what then?
Well here’s the thing ~I decided to enter that dating app competition, you know the one where the funniest profile wins a prize and all that jazz?
Love it, knew you would! Whats wrong with that?
Well I may of accidentally muddled up my dating entry with the job application form for that new bar in town and it would seem that I have only gone and sent my hilarious (if I do say so myself) dating competition entry to the wrong email and if I my now sober eyes aren’t fooling me then it is now sitting in the bar owners inbox.
The bar owner~the really fit one??
What? Yes oh my days,I am never ever setting foot in that place like ever.
Well he won’t know what you look like.
Erm my photo was attached to the application.
Right I’m sending it over to you, put the phone down, stop laughing and help me sort this woman.