Tonight after a lovely evening stroll with my boy, I came home uploaded some photographs and posted on my Dads facebook page.
I posted a picture of a boat that I know he would of loved to of seen, a picture that when I took it, for a split second I thought ‘I’ll send it to Dad’ then reality slapped me hard in the face, I can’t send him anything, I can’t call him,text him or hug him.
Being there by the sea makes me feel close to him but sometimes so very far away.
Grief is like an uninvited visitor that never goes away, sometimes it sits quietly in the corner and sometimes it makes its presence felt loudly.
Tonight its a loud presence~one of those days,one of those endless nights.
This popped up this morning on my timeline and I just cannot believe this was our very last Father’s Day with our Dad. Nobody knew of course that would be the case.
I feel its another timely reminder to be the best version of yourself,make every day count and try to keep your head held high. Go and make those memories, live your life and love well. Time is so very,very precious.❤x
I was standing in the kitchen washing up, thinking about the day ahead, what food we will eat, what to wear etc, wondering if I would wear shorts as its hot but you know I hate my legs~the list could go on.
When perspective slapped me in the face ~hard!
Tomorrow we have to face a huge challenge saying farewell to our super nan~together but apart from eachother.
With that in mind~what does it matter how I look in shorts? What does it matter if I haven’t got it all together today, if the house is a mess or the ironing is piling up?
It doesn’t but those small things play on my mind and I wish they wouldn’t.
I want to see the bigger picture~appreciate the here and now. Appreciate everyone who is in my life and cherish those who are no longer here but have shaped my life and filled my heart with love and memories that time can never steal.
I have no words to describe how I feel about tomorrow being so close but so far away from my loving family.
One thing is for sure though we will get through this together.
I found myself quoting Dads words to my boy the other day ‘there is nothing that can’t be sorted together’.
So now as I get my 2nd or is it 3rd coffee of the morning~I am planning to make the most of that ‘prospective slap’, get out in the fresh air, have a picnic with my the kids and make more memories. Seize the day and yes wear the damn shorts!!
Goodbye ‘2019’ you’ve left me without the words to express what a year it has been.
Heaven has gained another angel and left a huge void in the hearts of so many.
Tonight as midnight strikes and we welcome in a new year,a new decade and indeed a new chapter, may you cherish those who you hold dear, love a little harder,forgive a little easier and make the most of each and every day.
Make those memories, be present and never take anything from this precious life for granted.