Its been a funny few weeks, not necessarily in a ha ha funny way either.
I’m blaming my hormones~who knew at the grand age of 43yrs old, I would be struggling to get my menopause medication right at the same time as trying to maintain co-ordination at aqua aerobics hanging on to my hrt patch with one hand and hitching my swim suit up with the other!
Its like the joys just keep on coming!
Anyhow the point of this picture is just to say that having made myself go to the gym this evening then being able to walk out of said gym and having the beach right on my doorstep is something that I hope never to take for granted.
However the hot flushes, sleepless night and mood swings can hurry up and do one anytime they like!
P.s~I realise I’m totally selling myself here #stillsingle haha.
I just don’t know when or if I’m ever going to get my shit together.
Why? Whats happened?
Yesterday you were full of the joys and going to make a real effort and up your dating game…
Did I actually say that? Or was that the wine talking?
Hmm good point but lets be honest it is quite hard to differentiate between the 2 a lot of the time!
Damn cheek not that you’re wrong on this occasion but…
So then what happened?
I thought you were meeting the man of your dreams aka him with the nice arms at 7pm and its now 7.30pm, don’t tell me you’re running late again?!
Nope~I left the house on time,well early actually so I could get some fuel on the way, got in the car and realised I’d forgotten my purse. Went back indoors came out and tripped over the dodgy paving slab outside the house ffs.
Yes the one that’s been in the same place for the last year’s ~you can stop laughing.
Apart from feeling utterly stupid, I’m fine (thanks for asking not!).
So I went to the garage and got totally flustered, couldn’t park the right way for my petrol cap and just couldn’t deal with trying to hoist the pump up and over the car in this heat, therefore ended up driving around looking bloody hopeless,
managed to spill petrol on my new shoes and decided that was enough for one day.
I am now home putting serious effort into having a relationship with as much chocolate as I can manage without making myself sick!
Tonight after a lovely evening stroll with my boy, I came home uploaded some photographs and posted on my Dads facebook page.
I posted a picture of a boat that I know he would of loved to of seen, a picture that when I took it, for a split second I thought ‘I’ll send it to Dad’ then reality slapped me hard in the face, I can’t send him anything, I can’t call him,text him or hug him.
Being there by the sea makes me feel close to him but sometimes so very far away.
Grief is like an uninvited visitor that never goes away, sometimes it sits quietly in the corner and sometimes it makes its presence felt loudly.
Tonight its a loud presence~one of those days,one of those endless nights.
This popped up this morning on my timeline and I just cannot believe this was our very last Father’s Day with our Dad. Nobody knew of course that would be the case.
I feel its another timely reminder to be the best version of yourself,make every day count and try to keep your head held high.
Go and make those memories, live your life and love well.
Time is so very,very precious.❤x
As I opened the door to my Mum this morning saying ‘come in, its chaos here at the moment,its always bloody chaos in this house’.
I looked around at the garden (which is a constant work in progress!) at the paddling pool I had struggled to put up and get sorted, bits and bobs around the kitchen that I was in the middle of tidying away and thought~do you know what, this house may not be spotless, its noisy its loud but it’s our home, and its a home that is full of love and warmth.
A home with its doors always open to everyone and I love that.
I don’t know what the kids memories will be of their childhood when they are older but I hope they look back and remember that admist the chaos and crazyiness, the memories we have made and continue to make along the way are priceless.
For several years I carried the ‘single parenting’ guilt on my shoulders but I’ve long sinced parked that~this parenting gig isn’t plain sailing no matter what your situation is and I truly believe if we were all honest, we would all admit to just winging it at times.
So here’s to the chaos and the crazy days,sleepless nights and memories made.
Paddling pools and starting school.
Day trips here and outings there.
Running around without a care.
Through out these times I can depend on being driven well and truly round the bend!
But let me just say, so you know ,I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Thanks to my 2 partners in crime.
All my love, All my life.❤x
Its a new book kind of day. This is so funny and very relatable.
There’s nothing like getting lost in a good book.
Happy #humpday. ❤x
This time last year, I’d never set foot in the gym and certainly didn’t think it would ever be for me.
I can remember the first time I did, as usual it was a whirlwind spur of the moment decision to join but as I pulled up in the car park, the urge to drive off was suddenly very real.
For a start I felt far too self conscious to stroll in wearing my gym stuff.
To my absolute amazement I really liked it and I can honestly say I have never looked back.
So much so that this morning I was in the gym at 7.30am, did my workout and then went for a seafront walk in my gym outfit, grabbed a coffee and couldn’t careless if my bum looks big in my leggings!
Haven’t done this in a while,so I thought I’d share another old but funny dating story from way back when…
As dates go this one was pretty short but not particularly sweet.
We met outside the pub we had arranged to meet at, after a quick introduction he looked pretty much ‘ unamused ‘shall we say for want of a better phrase.
We got drinks sat down and he proceeded to tell me all about and I mean ALL about his ex wife and how awful she was etc etc.
After what felt like forever but in reality was probably about an hour, we left the pub.
I said goodbye,thanked him for the drink and was about to leave.
Much to my shock he attempted to kiss me,which I skillfully ducked out of and left.
He text me later that evening, quite a lot later infact and I didn’t see it until the morning, I replied then was quite literally gobsmacked at his next message which went something along these lines…
‘It was nice to meet you last night, I’ll be honest though I don’t think I would be up for meeting again.’
Now obviously that’s fair enough, however he continued by saying ‘ unfortunately you really remind me of my ex wife.’
I couldn’t help myself and responded by saying ‘your ex wife who according to you is a dreadful person?!’
‘Oh no, not in that way,I mean you look a lot like her’ he said.
Ok then! ❤ x
I wanted to do it but when I woke up this morning I didn’t want to do it.
I had plenty of reasons (excuses)for not wanting to including the fact that it was raining/snowing, I felt uncomfortable with myself in my clothes, I was tired the list of excuses could of been endless.
However I did it~I got up and went to the gym. It felt like starting all over again.
I had just got myself into a routine of going and then lockdown 3 took care of that.
I was self concious walking in but once I got started it was fine.
6 miles on the bike later and I left feeling a hundred times better than I did when I woke up this morning.
Small steps for a big gain both mentally and physically.
Happy Monday~now pass me the coffee! ❤x