7 years ago my Dad and I painted Ads bedroom ‘blue’, I can remember that day like it was only yesterday, him giving me relationship advice,drinking lots of tea and generally helping me muddle through life (as usual) oh how I wish he was here now.
Today Ads and I repainted his room, we chatted about life, had a giggle and I cleaned up plenty of spilt paint whilst he made me coffee.
Its our beautiful Nan’s heavenly 100th birthday today.
She was never without her beautiful smile even when times where undoubtedly hard for her.
I’ve so many fond memories over the years, one of which being the fact that you would never leave her house unfed if you were hungry or not!
So with that in mind I’m having cake tonight not all of it mind,else I’ll undo all my hard work and won’t fit into my ‘ripped jeans’ that she would always affectionately comment on saying ‘ Oh Natalie did you buy those jeans with holes already in them like that?!’
Tonight I cried, I wanted a bunch of sunflowers but the shop had sold out of them.
I saw them yesterday and assumed I would have time to get some today.
The tears weren’t just because of sunflowers~they were because of lots of things but the fact remains that we always think we have tomorrow, there’s always another day,we put off doing and saying things that matter.
Don’t take time for granted, live for the moment.❤x
I feel like every time I start to write something, everything has a common theme to it, I feel I’m having lots of ‘I wasn’t going to do that but I’m glad I’m did moments’.
This evening for example I wasn’t going to go out to the beach even though I knew it would be good to clear my head.
So I found myself having a last minute dash to get to the seafront before the sun set and I am honestly so glad that I did. The sky was amazing, the colours were beautiful, it was as peaceful and calm as ever.
When I looked back through my photographs, I noticed that the clouds look like love hearts in the sky, which I like to think is a gentle reminder that our loved ones are never far away.
Coming back to those moments of being glad I did thing’s, just really powers home the saying of ‘in life we only regret the chances we didn’t take’.
Grab life with both hands we only get one shot at it.❤x
No matter how much it hurts my heart knowing that you’re not here in person, I love being able to come and sit here and have a coffee with you. Such a beautiful spot you chose, thinking of you always.❤
Tonight after a lovely evening stroll with my boy, I came home uploaded some photographs and posted on my Dads facebook page.
I posted a picture of a boat that I know he would of loved to of seen, a picture that when I took it, for a split second I thought ‘I’ll send it to Dad’ then reality slapped me hard in the face, I can’t send him anything, I can’t call him,text him or hug him.
Being there by the sea makes me feel close to him but sometimes so very far away.
Grief is like an uninvited visitor that never goes away, sometimes it sits quietly in the corner and sometimes it makes its presence felt loudly.
Tonight its a loud presence~one of those days,one of those endless nights.
This popped up this morning on my timeline and I just cannot believe this was our very last Father’s Day with our Dad. Nobody knew of course that would be the case.
I feel its another timely reminder to be the best version of yourself,make every day count and try to keep your head held high. Go and make those memories, live your life and love well. Time is so very,very precious.❤x