Tonight after a lovely evening stroll with my boy, I came home uploaded some photographs and posted on my Dads facebook page.
I posted a picture of a boat that I know he would of loved to of seen, a picture that when I took it, for a split second I thought ‘I’ll send it to Dad’ then reality slapped me hard in the face, I can’t send him anything, I can’t call him,text him or hug him.
Being there by the sea makes me feel close to him but sometimes so very far away.
Grief is like an uninvited visitor that never goes away, sometimes it sits quietly in the corner and sometimes it makes its presence felt loudly.
Tonight its a loud presence~one of those days,one of those endless nights.
Somehow despite growing up in this somewhat crazy and usually unorganised house we call home~I have managed to raise children who hate being late, that’s all good obviously but I had to laugh at this conversation this morning.
Me~We will leave at 8.20am this morn
Ads~why we usually leave at 8.25 am
Me~oh ok 8.25am it is then.
Ads~I mean we could leave a bit later if you like?
This popped up this morning on my timeline and I just cannot believe this was our very last Father’s Day with our Dad. Nobody knew of course that would be the case.
I feel its another timely reminder to be the best version of yourself,make every day count and try to keep your head held high. Go and make those memories, live your life and love well. Time is so very,very precious.❤x
As I opened the door to my Mum this morning saying ‘come in, its chaos here at the moment,its always bloody chaos in this house’.
I looked around at the garden (which is a constant work in progress!) at the paddling pool I had struggled to put up and get sorted, bits and bobs around the kitchen that I was in the middle of tidying away and thought~do you know what, this house may not be spotless, its noisy its loud but it’s our home, and its a home that is full of love and warmth.
A home with its doors always open to everyone and I love that.
I don’t know what the kids memories will be of their childhood when they are older but I hope they look back and remember that admist the chaos and crazyiness, the memories we have made and continue to make along the way are priceless.
For several years I carried the ‘single parenting’ guilt on my shoulders but I’ve long sinced parked that~this parenting gig isn’t plain sailing no matter what your situation is and I truly believe if we were all honest, we would all admit to just winging it at times.
So here’s to the chaos and the crazy days,sleepless nights and memories made. Paddling pools and starting school. Day trips here and outings there. Running around without a care. Through out these times I can depend on being driven well and truly round the bend! But let me just say, so you know ,I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Wow~what a saturday it’s been. Took my Mum for her second covid vaccine, had cuddles with my beautiful great niece whilst seeing my fab family and had my hair cut.
Whilst driving home~I treated the other drivers on the A24 to some car karaoke, how lucky are they?! I do wish we all lived nearer though~40 miles may not sound a lot but some days it feels like 400 miles. Family is everything.❤x