She’s back

Just leave it, you’ll make it worse.

It can’t get much worse can it really?

Honestly two words from a male and I’m dropping sugar sachets and spilling coffee all over myself.

Trust you to get coffee all down a white top, so what did you say to him then?

Nothing he said ‘hello gorgeous’ at the exact time I dropped the sugar,  I was flustered enough trying to pick it up, that’s how I spilt the damn coffee, what a waste.

Yes I would say that was a pretty wasted opportunity right there my friend.

Noooo I mean what a waste of coffee!
Anyway I’ve decided that I’m getting too old for this online dating lark, I mean seriously some guy messaged me last night saying ‘I had a cracking pair of Norks’
I had to google what that even means ffs.

Hahaha well you can’t give up, its too funny.

Well I’m so glad I’m entertaining, maybe I’ll put that to good use and
write ‘the flustered girls guide to finding love.’

To be continued….

❤x


Flustered by name…

Answer the phone, oh come on pick, pick up,pick oh thank goodness you’re awake.

Well I am now, what’s the emergency?

Oh my goodness, you won’t believe what I did last night.

You didn’t text Dave did you? I told you not to,that was the last thing I said to you.

Technically it wasn’t, the last thing you said to me was put the wine down and get some water but no I did not text him!

Ok so what then?

Well here’s the thing ~I decided to enter that dating app competition, you know the one where the funniest profile wins a prize and all that jazz?


Love it, knew you would! Whats wrong with that?

Well I may of accidentally muddled up my dating entry with the job application form for that new bar in town and it would seem that I have only gone and sent my hilarious (if I do say so myself) dating competition entry to the wrong email and if I my now sober eyes aren’t fooling me then it is now sitting in the bar owners inbox.

The bar owner~the really fit one??

What? Yes oh my days,I am never ever setting foot in that place like ever.

Well he won’t know what you look like.

Erm my photo was attached to the application.

Right I’m sending it over to you, put the phone down, stop laughing and help me sort this woman.

❤x

Its not me its you!

Haven’t done this in a while,so I thought I’d share another old but funny dating story from way back when…

As dates go this one was pretty short but not particularly sweet.

We met outside the pub we had arranged to meet at, after a quick introduction he looked pretty much ‘ unamused ‘shall we say for want of a better phrase.

We got drinks sat down and he proceeded to tell me all about and I mean ALL about his ex wife and how awful she was etc etc.

After what felt like forever but in reality was probably about an hour, we left the pub.

I said goodbye,thanked him for the drink and was about to leave.
Much to my shock he attempted to kiss me,which I skillfully ducked out of and left.

He text me later that evening, quite a lot later infact and I didn’t see it until the morning, I replied then was quite literally gobsmacked at his next message which went something along these lines…

‘It was nice to meet you last night, I’ll be honest though I don’t think I would be up for meeting again.’

Now obviously that’s fair enough, however he continued by saying ‘ unfortunately you really remind me of my ex wife.’

I couldn’t help myself and responded by saying ‘your ex wife who according to you is a dreadful person?!’

‘Oh no, not in that way,I mean you look a lot like her’ he said.

Ok then! ❤ x

Nobody said it was easy

Single and trying to navigate the world of online dating was never going to be easy.

Dating apps are everywhere and the same faces tend to pop up on them all~including mine!

This particular email made me chuckle when I saw it in my inbox ‘Natalie they meet your expectations ‘.

Expectations? That word has huge meaning ,anyone would think that I am sitting here with a long list of expectations for any suitable male to have to wade through!

Besides that~I’ll be the judge of who meets my expectations thanks very much and trust me it will take more than a photograph and a few typed out words that’s for sure.

Maybe that’s why I’m still single haha.❤x

The girl with the rose tinted glasses.

Do you ever wish you could see yourself through someone elses eyes every now and then?

During a conversation this weekend,  I was told I view the world through ‘rose tinted glasses’ interestingly this is something I have been told before in a few different ways, I don’t feel that’s a bad thing, its true I do try and find positives where I can~although when the hoover decided to throw its entire contents across the landing tonight~positive vibes were definitely failing me!!

I have decided I like the title ‘the girl with the rose tinted glasses’ so I’m claiming that,even though I’m 43yrs old! ❤x

Oops

Picture the scene~you’re in tesco, you bump into someone you dated for a while a few years ago,you have a quick chat and then continue shopping.

As soon as he is out of sight you phone your friend~ she answers and without pausing you say ‘guess who I’ve just bumped into?  you’ll never guess!’

After you’ve been round the houses and establish who it is etc, you find yourself at the self checkout and he is a few people behind you in the queue.

You say to your friend ‘hang on one second, you are on speaker phone’ at the same time as she pipes up  ‘can you still see him, or has he gone?’

With a face that’s burning every shade of red imaginable you are barely able to utter your reply  which is ‘ your on speakerphone and he is standing right next to me!!!!’

Fully aware that the ground wasn’t going to open up and swallow me, I finish packing as quick as I can.

Daring to glance sideways as he calls out ‘bye,nice to see you!!!’

This was almost a year ago but it makes me laugh just thinking about it! ❤ x